Join us as we talk about the commitment we made to keep our marriage alive, and how it's led us to a happier and more purpose-driven life. Hear Sean's raw reflection on his struggle to balance work, family, and ministry, and his journey to create a space where Candace felt safe to express herself. Listen as Candace shares her journey of finding her identity in Christ, rather than just being Sean's wife and the mother of his children.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
The Mission of Marriage Podcast, hosted by Sean and Candace Tambagahan, provides insights for a stronger marriage through a Christian lens. Inspired by real conversations with Christians navigating marital challenges, we aim to infuse hope and value into every union through a biblical perspective.
Join us as we talk about the commitment we made to keep our marriage alive, and how it's led us to a happier and more purpose-driven life. Hear Sean's raw reflection on his struggle to balance work, family, and ministry, and his journey to create a space where Candace felt safe to express herself. Listen as Candace shares her journey of finding her identity in Christ, rather than just being Sean's wife and the mother of his children.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
The Mission of Marriage Podcast, hosted by Sean and Candace Tambagahan, provides insights for a stronger marriage through a Christian lens. Inspired by real conversations with Christians navigating marital challenges, we aim to infuse hope and value into every union through a biblical perspective.
My name is Sean, I'm Candice and this is the mission of Marriage Podcast.
Speaker 2:We talk about a Christian perspective on having a better marriage. So, before we get too far into the podcast and into like more content and topics we want to talk about, I think it's going to be super helpful for people who might be listening or watching just to hear a little bit about our story, who we are, and so why don't you start with how long have we known each other and how did we get married?
Speaker 1:Okay, so you actually might need to help me with the years. How long? Well, I was 16.
Speaker 2:You can't ask me the same question.
Speaker 1:Okay, yeah well, I was 16 when we got together. I don't know, is that 19 years, going on 20?
Speaker 2:The year was 2004. You were 16 and I was 18. So I'm two years older than you, Okay so 19 years. So we met really young so high school sweethearts kind of. I was just out of high school, you were a junior.
Speaker 1:Yes.
Speaker 2:Correct, you want to talk a little bit about this early, yeah, yeah.
Speaker 1:So yeah, I mean, usually you always start the earlier years because they were more impactful for you than they were for me.
Speaker 2:Okay, Well, we met at a friends group. We dated for like I'm going to just give the shotgun version so we were not Christians. Both of us had a Christian background. We were raised around the church, we had a theological framework. I mean, my Christianity was like I believe in God and I believe Jesus is the right way. If you put all the religions on the table, like Christianity is the right one and Jesus died for me so I could go to heaven, so that I don't have to pay for my own sins because he paid for them, this is going to be fantastic, because I love to sin. Now, god, leave me alone, let me live my life and I'll see you in heaven one day. And that was like my theology.
Speaker 1:Yeah, and my and my theology was we're going to go to hell when we die because we are in sin, and so we were not on the same page.
Speaker 2:But you didn't care too much.
Speaker 1:Oh, no, I cared.
Speaker 2:Well, you didn't act like it because you were the cool party chick and I was the laid back stoner. Asian kid.
Speaker 1:But every night I was like going to bed praying and like crying to God Was it like every night, even in your teenage years. Yes, most nights.
Speaker 2:Yeah, okay, so I didn't even know there was no spiritual life in our relationship at all. You just knew that both of us had a Christian belief in our mind and, like I was content with that, you were not so much. And so there you go. We dated as teenagers. We got married young. I come from a broken home.
Speaker 2:Candice comes from a perfect home, with just no, you come from a broken home we both come from broken homes, so we both have multiple siblings, different parents and all of that, and so we don't have personal examples of like marriages that have worked. And my parents got married young, divorced when I was young. Your parents did they divorce before when I was two. When you're two, yeah.
Speaker 2:So we, for the most part, we don't have intact families, like growing up, yeah. And so when the prospect came for us to get married and I proposed to Candice not unbended knee, we were living together, and I turned over I was like, so you want to get married or what?
Speaker 1:And you're like. I was like no, I was like don't you're joking. And he's like no, I'm serious.
Speaker 2:It was the most unromantic and I was like okay.
Speaker 1:And he's like but don't tell anybody, because I don't have a ring and I was like, okay, so I call everybody and plan the whole wedding. Hey, we're getting married in six months.
Speaker 2:I was like passing, having a passing conversation about marriage, like hey, would you so you want to get married? And she was like he proposed and we're doing this. And I was like, oh my gosh, so this is happening. And so we got married in what like six months, yeah, six months, six months, yeah. And my parents were discouraging me from doing it. Your parents were.
Speaker 1:Well, not, not my dad, just just my mom.
Speaker 2:I mean and I don't blame, I was really mad at her mom because she's like you need to marry a preacher or something like that and I was like what are you going to do with a preacher? And you just corrupt him and anyway it was all bad. So our parents were discouraging us from getting married at a young age because, like, marriage in our culture is perceived as this negative thing, as you're supposed to just kind of suck all of the joy and energy out of life in your young years and then, when you're all done, then just find the person and give them your leftovers. They'd never say it like that, but that's the cultural perception, like why would you get married so young? And even though we didn't have that Christian mindset, we were still in love with each other and we wanted to get married and so, despite all of what the older people that had experienced said, we got married young. You were 19.
Speaker 1:Yeah, it was. It was like a week before my birthday, so it was 19, but it was turning 20.
Speaker 2:And I was 21, turning 22 that year. So we were very young and it was an amazing first year of marriage, right? No?
Speaker 1:We almost we got. We wanted to get a divorce like right away, Four months, Four months in huh Four months.
Speaker 2:We started using the D word. We started using it.
Speaker 1:See, I'm so glad that you like keep track of time stuff, because I don't, I'm just like it was just bad, I don't remember how long it was.
Speaker 2:Four months we were using the word divorce. We almost even canceled the wedding just because we were so unhealthy. We're already living together, you know, and marriage was just like that certificate and we're just. We were not in a healthy place, Like we weren't a healthy couple, and even right after marriage we were talking about divorce and then you start having more spiritual. This is like for me, that's kind of when the spiritual side started taking root for you.
Speaker 1:Yeah, yeah, well, you remember. Well, it was actually before that because, if you remember, I was telling you we needed to get married because we were living in sin.
Speaker 2:That's right yeah.
Speaker 1:And then I was kind of putting the pressure on you and then that's when you ended up asking me to marry you. God is cool with it.
Speaker 2:Yeah, we're basically married, we're living together. You're, I'm not with anybody else. We don't need this piece of paper and I. The same stuff that I hear young guys say today is all the stuff that I was saying.
Speaker 1:Yeah, we're like basically married.
Speaker 2:We're basically married and I don't need the government to to okay and stamp it. We don't need that. Our love is real, but there was clearly something holding me back from marriage. Okay, so your spiritual journey starts a little bit before just yeah. And by spiritual journey. I'm talking about you being, like, really convicted.
Speaker 1:Yeah, yeah, like the Holy Spirit was drawing me, so I was started being convicted of my son.
Speaker 2:But then you suppressed that and we still get married, yep, and within four months where you're using the divorce word and then and then around. That time is when you started not suppressing those convictions and started kind of pursuing them, like you really wanted to start living for God.
Speaker 1:Yeah, so I started going to a Bible study and just started trying to make little changes in my life. Like cause, at the time Sean worked at a bar and so I was like not going in. You know what I mean. I was trying to like abstain from that and and I started reading my Bible and I was praying and Sean didn't like that too much.
Speaker 2:No, I imagined Candace huddled up with all of these old Christian women praying for her heathen husband. At this time I'm like, if you want Jesus, then you do it. I have a personal relationship with Jesus. I don't need no effing church. I'm a bleep in Christian. I don't need any of that kind of stuff. You do you and I'll do me. And you started doing it. You started going and I was like resenting you for it because I knew that you were praying for your heathen husband with your group, a little Christian ladies and yeah, yeah, yeah, and then well, if out of that came, so we going into the salvation part now because, yeah, because out of that came me praying kind of how to wouldn't advise that, but I gave God kind of an ultimatum God, if you either need to save him or I'm divorcing him because I can't stay married to a Christian person.
Speaker 1:So anyways, so Christian.
Speaker 2:If you are an un-Christian, you cannot be married to a. Christian.
Speaker 1:Anyways, and so I prayed for God to cause something to happen Drastic, for him to save Sean, and then so do you.
Speaker 2:So that was you in your journal. You prayed that.
Speaker 1:Yes, I have it written. I dated it.
Speaker 2:What was the date?
Speaker 1:Uh, it was, I think it was. I think it was October.
Speaker 2:I think it was. It was either September or October. So, yeah, timeline we were married in May. Yeah, october. You're praying this prayer. And then in November is when our electricity got shut off. I wasn't making enough money. Our bill got shut off. But it wasn't just our bill. Our electricity got shut off. It was like this astronomical bill, like we didn't know how it was so high and we couldn't pay it. So we had to figure all that out and we find ourselves sleeping on your mom's couch for a while.
Speaker 1:No, in her extra room, her extra room, whatever. Yeah.
Speaker 2:You're sleeping in a room at her mom's house, my mother-in-law's house, and it's kind of one of those things of like. If you're under this roof, we go to church in this house and so, out of respect, I went to church and that was I'd never heard. So my mind I think if you're like an on fire Christian man, you're either weird or feminine. It like that was my idea of a serious Christian man, like there's everybody else you know they could just have like their faith, like me, but there's like those radical Christians, either we're feminine, I don't know why in my mind, and so I go to the church and it's like very masculine man who's not weird, he's very relatable and he's preaching the gospel in such a way that I've never heard and I knew the God that he's Preaching about. If he's real, like if I were to stand before him, I know that he would send me to hell, and Not just that, I knew that he would be good in sending me to hell. I knew that I was living like the weight of my sins was on my shoulders and I knew that I deserved the wrath of God.
Speaker 2:And some people listen is like well, that's intense. It was very intense because I was confronted with the God of the Bible and he made an opportunity for people to respond to the gospel, made it, gave an altar call and it wasn't one of those like every head bowed, every eye closed it was. He said I'm not a dentist, I don't pull teeth, I'm a count of three and if God's moving on your heart, you stand up on the count of three. I'm not counting the four and I'm not praying for you. After service right now is the time for salvation. One, two and I was like, oh my gosh. And then like on three, I just stood up and what are you thinking?
Speaker 1:I was shocked, I was like what is going on? And I was like, like telling my mom like.
Speaker 2:So I walked to the front and and you were like thinking of you know, should I follow him?
Speaker 1:up. Yeah, I asked my mom if I should follow you.
Speaker 2:Yeah, alone, and so. So in a day I give my life to God. I'm like God if you're real, I'll give my life to you. I don't you need to change my heart because I can't do this on my own. I will do whatever it takes. And I just felt instantly holy spirit, just kind of put on my heart, quit your job at the bar and I was like alright, alright. And on the on the way home I told you it was like a really weird Drive home, like what do we do? Do we talk about what just happened?
Speaker 1:and you were pretty open Because I was like worried that it was like you just did it and it was. I was like I'm not gonna be the first one to say anything, so I waited for you to talk and then, yeah, you were pretty open.
Speaker 2:I know what I need to do. Yeah, and you're just very supportive and didn't want to push in it. You by this time You'd already kind of like we're hands off, like I was. You were just praying for me. Yeah you weren't even arguing with me about going to church or living for God, you were just doing. You, yeah, which?
Speaker 1:is very common actually to to like kind of nag at the Spouse like hey, you, we need it. You need to get saved and you're doing this wrong and you're doing and I kind of just like I was, just like I know what I'm gonna do, and so I was just pursuing God and leaving, in the sense.
Speaker 2:You put me on the altar. Yeah in your heart, you're, you're like God, he's yours, mm-hmm. And God took me, you know, and he saved me in November 17, 2007, and it was a day. It was in a day, and that doesn't happen for everybody. I know that, and I know that there's people listening to this like, okay, well, great, she prayed in October and he gave his life to God in November. So I gotta.
Speaker 1:I've never I've never heard that story before. No, ours is the first one I've ever heard.
Speaker 2:So we recognize that we're very blessed Because it could have gone another way, and I've seen people persevering in prayer for their spouse for years. Yep and and it's still not coming to fruition, and and so we're not saying like, oh, just pray and they'll do it. Like, yeah, I mean we, you know, keep standing and keep believing and keep persevering, for sure, but this is just our story.
Speaker 1:This is how it happened, yeah but scripture also says you know, if you have an unbelieving spouse, then let them you be quiet, so that they can see your quietness and see your peace, and then they might come to know Christ.
Speaker 2:But if they don't, then you know it's not in your, it's not on your hands right, yeah, and so you don't nag somebody into the kingdom. No, either way, whether it's the husband or the wife, nobody's nagging into the kingdom, and so so that's our story. We got married real young. We were Not living for God, we were believers with our head but not with our lives. And then, very early on in our marriage so from May to November, that's when I gave my life to God was in November. Candice had come already before that, and now we are a young Christian married couple, are we?
Speaker 1:considered young still.
Speaker 2:When we got married or when we got saved. We're a young yes, yes, christian couple, so we're 20.
Speaker 2:I was 22 when I gave my life to God, and so you're 20 and and pretty early on, like I, there was just this trajectory of like I'm gonna live radically for Christ, and so I didn't want to be lukewarm, I didn't want it to be like an emotional thing, and one of the really huge benefits in our marriage was I knew that I had anger issues.
Speaker 2:I knew that I had mommy issues, daddy issues, all the issues people have issues. I had a ton of issues and those issues I was perfect though You're still working on Candice's issues so I had issues that would manifest itself usually in like fits of rage and I would never lay a hand on Candice. I would like punch holes in walls. I remember like slamming a guitar into a coffee table or throwing a closet rod that holds your hangers through a window Just stupid stuff destroying property. And now I'm saved and I know that I can't do these things and God's got to do a work in my heart. And so one of the benefits that I think we had in our marriage was we had mature Christian couples that were surrounding us. We had access and there was I think there was an early on marriage series.
Speaker 1:Also I was gonna say that, like really saved our marriage Is right. When we got saved or he got saved, they started doing a marriage series, and so that was also what sparked this podcast in my heart was like man, I remember that transforming our marriage, and not just our marriage, our life, like just dealing with everyday things. It's really every relationship. It goes beyond just a marriage. It goes in every relationship that you have.
Speaker 2:So we have so many benefits in the church. We were very blessed with a good church family, so there's a lot of things that we just had an advantage of. And so church family, the marriage series I remember going to men's groups and I would never hang out with Christian men Like Christian men's groups was kind of like that's black. I'm not gonna go to that. But I went and I remember clearly one of the older guys. He was like much older and he said he put his arm around me. I'm a young man.
Speaker 2:He says, sean, just know that when you come here, just be open and be transparent, because whatever you're going through is not as unique to you as you might think. We've all gone there and not before Christ. And I think that's another thing in the church is we try to position all of the bad stuff as like that was before Jesus and now that I'm in Jesus that doesn't happen. It's like no, like that's today, like I have issues today still Like just because you get saved in a day doesn't mean you're sanctified fully in a day. Sanctification is a lifelong process.
Speaker 1:Or even 15 years.
Speaker 2:So we're married, we're in a church family. You're plugged in to women, I'm plugged into men. We have this marriage series and we're growing and I think we had a pretty fantastic first year or two. Yeah, yeah, when did it all go sideways?
Speaker 1:Is that this podcast or not? Is that another one?
Speaker 2:I mean, do we like leave this podcast as, like? How long are we going on this one? Do you want to go through the whole story? I think we should go through it, maybe some of the okay. So we start having kids. Pretty like I realized that having kids is biblical and a good thing and we always wanted kids. And so we have Jett in 2010. No, no 2008. 2008, like instantly, chase is 10. This is 2010. Okay, I feel like we had a pretty good marriage when our kids were little.
Speaker 1:Yeah, I feel like we did too. I think that having children come into your life is just.
Speaker 2:It's chaotic.
Speaker 1:Yeah, it's crazy, but we were good.
Speaker 1:I think that the experiences we had having children brought us closer together. But then, as it was more like, as I was raising the children, having three of them and then raising three children, you know filling all the things that most women fill you know you feel alone, you're exhausted, you're, you know everything's chaotic, everything's fast-paced and you're trying to keep up with the kids and keep up with the house and then also, like you know, so there's kind of there's just like a lot going on when you have babies. Yeah.
Speaker 2:So and we also kind of, even though we weren't Christian before we were married, we still had traditional views on marriage and, like husbands and wives, the husband needs to be the provider, and we had a conviction that you should be staying at home and raising the kids and things like that. We just had those convictions.
Speaker 1:Yeah, and just kind of want to clarify on this. When you say we, you know most people are like, oh, did Sean kind of lead that a little bit more? It's like, no, actually that was me. Yeah, I knew I was going, I was in school, in beauty college, and when he said I want to have children, I was like, yes, I want to have children too, and so let's do it. And I'm dropping out of school because I want to stay at home with my babies and raise them.
Speaker 2:So that was yeah, and even before we got married too, I remember you had you were like my sugar mama. I had no skills job. I mean I had jobs, but like not really doing much with my life. I was a terrible student, so college was out of the cards for me. You were living with your dad, I lived with my dad and then I ended up living with you and you had the car, you had the apartment, and then I would work at the bar on the weekends and I'd play video games and smoke weed all day and like that was my thing. And I remember you coming home from your good job and you said, hey, I quit my job, you need to step it up. Yep, yeah.
Speaker 1:And you were like shoot. But I was like, no, I'm not going to live this life of me working and being the provider and you just being lazy.
Speaker 2:And we'll talk about roles men and women, roles and what that looks like and how that plays out. That'll be in another episode. But for us, we just had just naturally traditional views of marriage to where I had the expectation to be the provider, the bread owner. She was going to be the homemaker, to be the, the nurture of our children and to really care for the home. And then, when we became Christian and gave our life to Christ, now we have a mission, like we're going to honor Christ with our family and we're going to have kids and we're going to raise them up for the Lord.
Speaker 2:And we had a pretty fantastic marriage while the kids were young and I think we're not going to go into detail like in every aspect, because now we're kind of like along into this. But at some point in time, like we started fighting and I think, like you, were over the honeymoon phase of me being a Christian, because I was like really living, try to live, radical street evangelism, ministry work and all of the things, and then the kids were little and this was at the house on Fresno Street. I think that's when we started having arguments about Well, I think you will.
Speaker 1:we started having arguments really because you were like having this pull to evangelize and and witness to people, and so it was like you were giving all of your free time to that and and not being at home so much.
Speaker 2:I didn't know what balance work life and ministry balance and I never felt called to work for the church. So I'm having, I have a job and I'm doing ministry and I'm like you're good and you're like, no, we're not good, and I'm like, well, god has called me to do this and now we're well, you remember a lot of the time actually said we're good, but I was dying inside. Yeah, I think a little bit later.
Speaker 1:Yeah, probably, but early on I never detected it right.
Speaker 2:And what happened, I think, early on, is I didn't create a safe place for you to express those feelings. You didn't have words, in my opinion, I don't think you had words to articulate what you were feeling and I didn't give room for us to figure out what those feelings were. I was squashing it with theological bullying and intellectual. I would like logic my way into the conversation as to why you're being an irrational, illogical, emotional nagging, nagging.
Speaker 2:And you're not, you know, seeing the bigger picture of what God's calling me to do and us to do and you're supposed to. In I had this kind of twisted like patriarchal, you know, toxic masculinity, but not really. But yes, it was, you know. Like you know, there's this aspect of Christian humility, but then really, this abrasive, kind of domineering aspect of being a husband and I think that was like just continuing to silence you and that's what we were fostering was the culture in our marriage to where, okay, well, that conversation is not safe.
Speaker 1:Yeah and that Perpetuates yeah, over time it got, it does. Yeah, over time it got worse and yeah, yeah so you fast forward.
Speaker 2:I start Having more roles of responsibility in the church. I'm now an elder in the church, I'm teaching on a semi regular basis and then I have a business and I'm also doing a street ministry and trying to start a side business. So I have like two different businesses ministry in the church, ministry out in the community, and three young kids and my wife and I'm, in my mind, slaying dragons, taken over the world, taken over the, the, the world for the kingdom of God, and Doing all the things and my wife is my helpmate. In my mind that helped me. It was like you were my assistant to help me on my mission, yeah and We'll talk, maybe talk about that in another.
Speaker 2:Well, that's gonna be on the rules and relationship. In my mind, you're, you're my helper, and that's not what the Bible means by a help me, by the way. But I didn't know that and I didn't create a safe enough space for us to articulate that in in our relationship. And so in my mind is like hey, are we good? And yeah, I'm good. You didn't want to nag.
Speaker 2:Yeah you wanted to be the supportive life. Yep, you didn't want to Go against what God was wanting to do in our marriage. But you're dying on the inside. Yeah, yeah and Well, you want to talk a little bit about that, or?
Speaker 1:yeah, I mean, I don't think, you know, I don't think it has so much to do with being a stay-at-home mom. It was just that that was I was. I didn't have my own identity In Christ, and so it was. My whole identity was in being your wife and being the mother to your children. So you see what I'm saying. There's a difference versus like hey, yeah, I have my husband and I have my children, but then I also have like all these other things, right, and so I was not. I didn't have my identity in Christ first, of who he had created me to be yeah, and nor did I.
Speaker 2:I Create an environment to where that was a prior priority. Yeah it was. The husband leads the family and the wife is the helper to do that, and, and so I'm burning the candle at both ends. I'm doing everything that I believe God's called me to do. I come home and I'm checking the box. I'm bringing home money, I'm spending enough time with you, we're doing date nights, we're hanging out with the kids Okay, cool, I've done my to-do list and then we go over here and then. But there's this like distance between us.
Speaker 2:So yeah, so we're not communicating on the real stuff.
Speaker 1:So we have like internal things starting to fester up and resentment, and all you know what I mean your identity was a laughing communication.
Speaker 2:Barefoot, pregnant, taking care of the house. And that was it. And then you know, and I would never say it, but like, where's my dinner? You know good.
Speaker 1:No, you would say it.
Speaker 2:Yeah, hey, I'm coming home from a hard day's work with my friggin dinner, anyway, so so that you can only do that for so long and and it all came to a head in 2016, 2016, to where you know skipping some of the details on it, but that's basically what happened was we were growing farther and farther apart and everything comes. I, if you would have asked me How's your marriage, I would have said, good, it's solid. If you would have asked Candice and she was honest, yeah, you would not said good, no, it was terrible. And and then all of that comes to the surface and there's a season of repentance on both of us.
Speaker 1:Yeah, it was so bad in our marriage Again, it's bear a lot of the details, but it was so bad that you say a little bit like you know, I, I stayed with my sister a couple nights and we you were staying at the office because we just couldn't be around each other, because there was constant blowout fights. You were having to deal with those fits of anger and rage again and you would have to leave the house so that the kids aren't hearing like again, we, we fight in front of the kids healthily Because we want them to see that and how we yeah, how we reconcile. But in this situation there was no it, it was just no reconciliation. At this point it was like we just needed to get some distance, some space, to get Kind of healthy with God and have some accountability Separately a little bit and it was almost irreconcilable, like we we had never, like as Christians, we had never.
Speaker 2:We made the agreement to never use the D word, the divorce word again, but we did and that's when we started using it again.
Speaker 2:And that's what. How many years into the marriage is nine years into our marriage. So, as a man of God, as a leader in the church, as a preacher, as the person who's mentoring all these people, I have this terrible marriage where now we're using the word divorce. We're not even living under the same roof anymore and I have to step down from ministry and it's publicly humiliating and I have to just focus on my work because I have to bring money and my family.
Speaker 1:So I stepped away from so well, yeah, so in that time you know, shawn's always you're always gonna elaborate on you a little bit more than me, obviously, but it wasn't, it was very much. So there was a sin that came from me, right, and and it was because of the loneliness and all these things I was going through and and I didn't seek my Identity, I wasn't seeking my peace and my joy and all of these things in Christ, so I was always seeking them in you, and then this was supposed to be another broadcast on identity, but so I was seeking that in you and then, when you weren't giving that to me anymore, instead of again going to Christ for it, I, you know, sought that elsewhere and so, so, with, so, with that comes okay. So now you're recognizing all these things that you were falling short and in your, the sin in your life, as there's also sin in my life, and so so, yeah, so we're both having straight.
Speaker 2:She's a sinner.
Speaker 1:So we're both had to definitely go through a lot of reconciliation individually and as a couple, and and then for me, my biggest thing was finding my identity in Christ.
Speaker 2:Yeah and so. So it all comes to a head in 2016. So where we have Again and what? In my eyes, we had a fantastic marriage early on and then, if you were to ask her in that season, I would have said it was good and I did not realize that it had been bad for some time.
Speaker 2:Yeah and it all comes to head in a moment and then it gets really bad for about six months to a year. Maybe 2017 or 2016 is when that happened and and we start to build. And I remember there was a Key moment where a friend who we hadn't seen in a while worship leader friend. I saw him at Cup of Joy, at coffee shop, and he's like how you doing? He's like okay, what's going on? And tell him the story. He comes to the house. We're about to celebrate our anniversary, which I don't even want to do, no, and you don't want to do.
Speaker 1:And this is like Well, you know, people always say when you you know why I've fallen out of love, you know well, you could say that I had fallen out of love at that time.
Speaker 2:You know what I mean and so he comes over and he Counsels with us just for a little bit, but really he just starts playing the piano and we worship Jesus in the living room. Yep, and for me, and I think for you too yeah, that was the flag in the ground, like we were made from that moment on, we're gonna make the decision to make this work. Yeah, and we're not gonna look back. We're not gonna use the divorce word, we're not gonna Play around with this thing anymore. We're gonna take that, we're gonna.
Speaker 1:Because I think I was around Christmas time right. Thanksgiving Christmas time is winter and then May is, is our anniversary, so yeah it was in May. It took that many months for us to finally actually make the decision. Yeah so, like we're, we're gonna make this work.
Speaker 2:Yeah, yeah, and so from there, there's a ton of stuff that we Another episode.
Speaker 2:I think, we could end this episode on the fact that, like, that was 2016. It's 2023 right now and I can honestly say that Candice is my best friend. Yeah, that there's no marriage that we know personally that is happier and more fruitful and more purpose-driven and Like the. I just don't know of any other marriage that is like ours and I want that for other people. Yeah, and it didn't come from this place, so like, oh, we don't know anything. Like came from a pretty bad place and a decision that we made that we're gonna make this Thing work.
Speaker 1:Yeah. And then allowing God to be the center and walk us through 100%, all of it, yeah so that's our story we're sticking to it.
Speaker 2:Yeah.